Apparently I Am A Freak of Nature for Not Loving Gravy

They say that before you consider a serious relationship with someone, you should discuss all of the important and controversial issues: kids, careers, finances, etc. So far, none of these things in theory have divided Brandon and I.

I had no idea, however, that more important, controversial, and dividing than any of these would be our conversation about gravy.

Yes, I am talking about gravy, like the gravy you put on mashed potatoes. It is a condiment, for goodness’ sake, not a life decision, and yet it has sparked at least an hour of debate so far.

Apparently I am a freak of nature for not loving gravy.

This fact about myself was revealed a couple of weeks ago during a dinner out with Brandon and my family. Dad ordered meatloaf with gravy, and I commented on how I’m not usually a fan of gravy. Brandon stared at me like I had just confessed that I was planning to grow a beard and move to Nicaragua or something.

Since that evening, I have not had any peace on the issue.

Brandon argues that gravy makes the meal. In a typical meat-and-potatoes scenario, he argues, gravy is what keeps things together. Gravy goes on the meat and potatoes, and then you can mop up what’s left with the biscuit.

This is a crime.

Mashed potatoes are beautiful. They are a beautiful, fluffy carb filled with milk and butter. They do not need anything else. Sure, they could be served with gravy. That would be okay, but to claim that mashed potatoes are patently better with gravy is an insult to all of the good work that mashed potatoes do. I can’t see how any rational person could claim this.

And don’t even get me started on the utter travesty that is putting gravy on a biscuit. Biscuits and gravy is okay. That makes sense because that is a meal in itself, and is exempt from my criticism. Placing beef/turkey gravy on a plain biscuit just for no reason? I can’t stand for this.

The only carb I love more than potatoes (in any form) is bread. Bread, in fact, is probably my favorite food, if not sandwiches, which are just bread with stuff on it. In summary, I love bread. The idea of coating a wondrous pillow of carby goodness with gravy and claiming that this is better than said biscuit without gravy is unacceptable.

While writing this, I received a snapchat from Brandon of his dinner, served with none other than gravy. It’s apparent that we’re not going to put the issue to rest anytime soon. Do you have any humorous disagreements with your significant other? What are your feelings on gravy? (Please just tell me I’m right.)

Header Image based on Roasted Turkey Breast with Gravy and Chorizo Stuffing by John Herschell, CC-BY-2.0