Last weekend, Brandon came to visit me here in Philly. He said he wanted a chill weekend, so for all of Saturday evening, we mainly kept things low-key. We went to see the cool Macy’s in downtown Philly and grabbed dinner, before watching some Netflix and crashing.
But Sunday, I thought I’d try to be all spontaneous and fun and choose something new for us to do. I had always wanted to visit the historic area of Germantown, where a lot of Revolutionary War events happened, so I decided that Sunday, we would pack up and take the trip. Brandon loves historical things, so I thought it would be fun.
It’s about an hour to Germantown from where I live by bus, but I figured that would be fine. I had looked up the area, and there were a lot of historical buildings and sights, so I figured the hour-long trip would be more than worth the couple of hours of sightseeing we would have.
Like I am about many things thus far in life, I was wrong.
I showed my tour-guide expertise right away when we were trying to find the correct bus stop. I decided to ask a Philadelphia parking authority lady where bus 23 picks up. She kept pointing at a sign that says “23,” but I couldn’t see it, so I kept gesturing to a bus stop behind us. Finally, the lady just shook her head. “Your listening skills aren’t very good. You’re lucky you have this guy with you. God bless you, sir.” Apparently I am literally so awful at listening that she felt the need to ask for holy intervention for Brandon. Whoops.
After an hour of riding on a bus with no air conditioning, we finally arrived at “Historic Germantown.” It was nothing like what I’d pictured. Instead of a gorgeous neighborhood with lots to see, it was actually a sketchy Scooby-Doo ghost town with random historical sites sprinkled in. Plus, since it was Sunday and most historical sites are open weird hours like “Every third Tuesday 9:25-3:17pm,” none of the building museums were open.
“Is this it?” Brandon asked skeptically. Yeah, this was it.
We wandered up and down the quiet, eery streets of Germantown while I used my interactive clickable map of Germantown via the Google to narrate what we were seeing. It sounded a lot cooler while I was at home on my computer.
Brandon: What is the significance of this building?
Me: Yeah, so it looks like a guy owned it, and he was a major textile manufacturer back in the 1700’s…
Needless to say, this trip was much shorter than I’d hoped. We spent about 45 minutes wandering around the different sites, drenched in sweat from the 90º weather, then hopped back on the bus for another long hour trip back to Philly.
I was a little disappointed. Here I had tried to think outside the box and do something fun, and while we still had a fun time (and knew it would make a good story later), our trip was nothing like what I’d hoped. I was apparently not meant to be a tour guide.
I changed my tune, however, when Brandon jokingly said, “I like your ‘Taylor Tours.’ We eat, sleep, and occasionally see something.”
Now, THAT is my expertise.
While my sister was in Philadelphia last week visiting me our days consisted of three delicious meals from fun local places, with naps and chill time interspersed. Occasionally, we would go do something touristy or fun, but our days were mostly about eating (my favorite hobby). We had a lot of intentions to go see things, but those were quashed by the food comas that would result from our absurdly good meals.
I’ve decided that from now on, I’m going to stop trying to be a tour guide when Brandon (or anyone else) visits. I’m going to start giving ‘Taylor Tours,’ because that’s my real gift. I am excellent at finding great restaurants, I’m okay with naps, and I can totally show you something occasionally, as long as wherever we go has those little historical plaques that I can read off of (I’m not a sponge for history like Brandon).
“Eat, sleep, and occasionally see something.” I think that’s catchy enough. Anyone interested? I’ll even give you a tour for free, IF you cover my meals.