This last week or so has been crazily busy. Wow. Thursday night, I was lucky enough to visit with the un-nephew and niece. These babies like me so far, and I’m hoping once they’re old enough to have some sense … Continue reading
I am generally a patient person, but there are some things that people say that just kill me, and my only thought is “I just can’t.” Here are some of those things.
“I haven’t seen my boyfriend/girlfriend for like a week, and it’s been horrible.”
I totally get it. When you’re in love with someone, it’s hard to be away from them. I mean anyone who says this no disrespect, but as someone who’s been in a LDR, I really have trouble having sympathy. I’m sure someone who hasn’t seen their boyfriend for over a year would scoff at my two-month stints, but still. I would be delighted to see Brandon every week during the school year.
“You’re really short.”
Wait, what? I’m actually from an Elvish village where everyone is four feet fall, and I’m a giant. I never realized I wasn’t the same height as normal humans. In all actuality, this doesn’t make me super mad, but it just confuses me. I don’t know why everyone feels the need to tell me this. Yes, I am also blonde. Thank you for sharing.
“…until you have a family someday.”
It’s amazing when you’re a woman how many people are eager to put an expiration date on your career, like I’m going to do this whole “career woman” thing for like five years, then have a family and never return to the work force. If you decide to be a career woman or a stay-at-home mom, either way you’re making a great decision, but I can’t deal with adults who assume I am going to be a stay-at-home mom because that is what women do. I might do that someday, but I might also keep my career. My gender has nothing to do with my decision.
“I quit _______ because I couldn’t get along with ______.”
I feel like this is an excuse people my age love to use. “I quit my job because I couldn’t get along with my boss.” “I quit college because my professors were jerks.” Sometimes these statements have validity, but I feel like people my age sometimes fail to take responsibility for their own actions. There are unpleasant people in life, and how you handle them is within your control. Blaming others’ actions for your own is not an excuse.
“Are you a midget?”
I’ve only gotten this once in my life, but I felt it was worth adding. I don’t really think an explanation is needed of why this makes me SMH.
“She/he should just lose some weight.”
Weight issues are often so much more than meets the eye. Mental and emotional issues, heredity, and other factors can contribute to someone’s weight. For some people, losing weight or maintaining a reasonable weight is about a lot more than just cutting out eating cake. Assuming that weight gain is linked to the person doing something bad or wrong is unfair, and we probably shouldn’t be judging anyway. I’ve had a couple of issues with my own body image in the past, and so this one especially bothers me, especially when it comes from someone who has never had to worry about their weight.
Are there any things people say that you can’t deal with?
I have a confession to make, guys. You’ve been reading this blog for awhile, I’m hoping, and from that, you’ve probably gathered that I’m awesome at everything. I’m like the hypothetical child of Beyonce and Albert Einstein. You’ve probably read … Continue reading
No one usually thinks of me as a rule breaker. I was the kid in first grade who woke up out of a dead sleep and began crying because I realized my library book was a day overdue. That’s how much of a rule-abiding citizen I am. But what’s wrong with that? Rules are made for a reason. They are meant to keep the fabric of society from unraveling completely. Needless to say, when I do break the rules, I break them in the least intense manner possible.
Here are a list of some of my offenses against society:
– I don’t pull and peel “pull and peel Twizzlers.”
– When I was in high school, my idea of ditching was calling my mom and having her excuse me so I could go to Starbucks.
– Sometimes I don’t use caution on wet floors that have the little caution cone up.
– I pull out my cellphone in dark movie theaters, even when they tell me not to.
– I swim less than 30 minutes after I eat.
– I drove home after curfew once… on my way home from a debate meet #cantstopwontstop
– One time I swallowed gum… seven years? Bring it on.
– I go out on cold days with my hair wet.
– I cross the street when the little walky man isn’t showing.
– I tore a tag off of a mattress once. Come at me, feds.
– I read books in dim light.
– I eat more than the suggested serving size on a bag of chips.
– I use my blow dryer in close proximity to my sink.
– When I stay at hotels, I don’t return my room keys.
– I bite down on suckers instead of sucking on them.
– When event invitations say “bring a friend,” I don’t bring a friend.
– When I swim and get out of the water, I don’t reapply sunscreen.
– When I start an exercise program, I don’t consult my physician first.
– I dance freeform during the Cupid Shuffle.
– Sometimes on Facebook, I click “like” when I don’t actually like something.
– I message people “lol” when I’m not laughing out loud.
– I’ve used wifi from a hotel I’m not staying at.
In what ways do you “break the rules?”
When I was a kid, the world looked completely different through my eyes. My eyes, sadly, were not much lower to the ground than they are now, so literally it looked about the same, but that’s besides the point. Figuratively, the world looked completely different. Also, I was wrong about a lot of things.
-When I was little, I thought that you couldn’t kiss someone unless you were in a relationship with them. I would watch movies and see actors kissing and wonder how that was supposed to work, since they were often married to other people. I deduced that the only reasonable way this could work was that actors put a piece of plastic or something between their lips, so they weren’t really kissing. I always looked for it when I watched movies. No, I was not sheltered. Yes, I was lacking in common sense.
-I thought that writing a check allowed you to avoid paying money, like an IOU. I always wondered how Mom got away with that all the time. I also thought it was super awesome, and wondered why everyone didn’t use checks. Good thing I figured this out before I had my own bank account.
-I thought that I’d know how to do more things by the time I was 20 (I’m months away) like curl my own hair, have self-control when eating pull-and-peel Twizzlers, and have a conversation with other people without saying at least one thing I regret later. I was, as it turns out, completely incorrect.
-I thought I’d be taller by now. Enough said.
-I thought that 20 was super old, mainly because there was a bank commercial that played often, featuring a little girl talking about growing up. The last few lines were “..when you’re 19, you get glasses, and when you’re 20? That’s when you’re OLD.” I’m almost 20 and I don’t have glasses, nor do I feel in any way like I am capable of being an adult.
-I thought that being the guy who mixed paint colors at Home Depot was the coolest job ever. I have no idea why. It just seemed fun to press all the buttons on the paint mixer machine.
-I thought that being the first female president would be cool, like if I got bored doing whatever else I was doing. I didn’t really realize you have to have some sort of background in public policy, millions of dollars to campaign, and be tall enough to see over a podium. My bad.
-I thought I would marry my junior-high crush, because the selection of men in junior high was apparently all the men I would ever meet ever. I also thought of love as “picking someone.” I didn’t realize mutuality was involved. Surprisingly, I didn’t ever go all “Misery” on someone and lock them in my house or anything. You can even ask Brandon…he’s totally with me by his own choice, though I don’t know if he always wants to admit that.
-I thought that we had two separate stomachs, one for dinner and one for dessert. Okay, I didn’t actually think this. I just used it as an excuse to be full of dinner but still get dessert. I still use that excuse.
What misconceptions did you have about the world as a child?