Why I’ll Never Be a (Real) Food Blogger

Why I'll Never Be a (Real) Food Blogger

At one point during my adventures in blogging, I had considered being a food blogger. I love food and I love writing, and so it seemed to make total sense.

First, I thought that maybe I could cook and blog about it. This might still be on the menu for future blogging adventures (get it?), but for now, I don’t think that my cooking would be worth reading about. Most bloggers that cook and write about it actually have something to offer to the cooking community. While I am plenty competent in the kitchen, I don’t actually have much real cooking expertise.

Things I am good at cooking:

  • Anything that doesn’t actually involve heat
  • Anything that comes in a box
  • Anything that has clear directions
  • Anything that doesn’t require actual cooking “techniques”

 

Things I am not so good at cooking:

  • Anything that requires me to estimate doneness (cook until golden brown…what do you want me to do? pull out some Home Depot color swatches?)
  • Anything that requires cooking techniques that have accents (flambé, sauté – If I can’t pronounce it correctly, I probably can’t do it)
  • Anything that requires cooking in oil (I’ve burned myself way too many times this year, ask my roommates)
  • Anything that requires patience (45 minutes for brownies? How about 25 minutes for warm brownie batter? Yes?)

See what I mean? Most of my posts would consist of regurgitation of our Taste of Home cookbooks with iPhone photos of how mine didn’t turn out at all like the picture. I know people love to laugh at others’ misfortunes but that’s usually what Buzzfeed is for.

Once I knocked cooking and blogging out of the running, I thought maybe I could write food reviews instead. I love eating more than I love cooking, and I thought that this would give me an awesome excuse to go to local restaurants I hadn’t yet tried under the guise of “expanding my writing portfolio.” After a few attempts at this (here, here, and here), I realized that I can’t write reviews precisely because I love food too much. When it comes to bad food, I could write a pretty helpful review, but if the food is even decent, I just get too excited.

A typical Taylor Yates food review

The food at ________ was (delicious, wonderful, awesome, great, magical). I tried the ________ and it was the best ever. It was like (an angel dancing on my tongue, the Mona Lisa of _______s, frolicking through a field of goodness). I am so (excited, overjoyed, thrilled, delighted) about my experience at _________ and think everyone should go there and try their _______.

Unless people just like to read about me getting really excited about food and enjoy my outrageously exaggerated metaphors about how delicious food can be, my reviews would be neither helpful nor informative.

Maybe someday I’ll brush up on my cooking skills and learn some fancy techniques. But for now, I’m not destined to be a food blogger. I’m just not. Looks like I’ll just have to resort to constant mentions of food in other blog posts and poor quality iPhone instagrams of my meals with highly overexcited captions for now.

Is there anything you can’t blog about/write about?

Xoxo, Taylor

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9 thoughts on “Why I’ll Never Be a (Real) Food Blogger

  1. I rarely blog about food, although sometimes I do, even if it is mostly following a recipe. (For example, my post from March 14 of this year was a must for a food post.)

    Due to my inexperience with relationships, I do not blog about them.

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    • Was that the one about the matzo balls? I remember seeing that one! I definitely think we all have things we can and cannot blog about. I know I also am not a fashion blogger. I can blog about fashion things I like but I can’t do the daily photos of myself wearing whatever. I would feel too awkward, and my closet is not near expansive enough!

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      • The March 14 blog showcased the French silk pies that I made for Pi Day. The matzo ball one was a tongue in cheek one about failure to live up to my Mom’s soup recip

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  2. haha this cracked me up. I couldnt be a food blogger either, and i need instructions and nothing fancy. perf in a box like betty crocker
    xo
    Orly
    coffeebeansandhighheels.weebly.com

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  3. This is hilarious hahahah I love it. While I’m not a “food blogger” per say I write about food every third post and so! And hey even if you can’t cook like the pros (I can’t either!) I love reading posts about how people LEARN to cook! It’s a process and sometimes it can be a blast or a bust 🙂
    and, oh ya, I could NEVER blog about fashion. Aka, I like spandex too much.

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    • I like your food posts a lot! You always write about really healthy things…and I should learn how to cook more of those 🙂 So I enjoy reading them!

      I still think your “sports bra of the day” OOTD posts could be a real hit! haha

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