An Open Letter To Phyllis Schlafly

I was raised to believe that women can do anything that men can. I was never hampered by my gender or discouraged by being a woman, even when it would appear that in today’s society there are still some distinct disadvantages to being one. So when I read this ed piece by republican pro-family activist Phyllis Schlafly, I thought I was reading satire. I quite literally thought this was a joke. But sadly, it wasn’t. Today’s post is an open letter to Mrs. Schlafly, who has quite quickly become one of my least favorite people…ever.

Dear Mrs. Schlafly,

I recently read your ed piece for The CP. As a college-aged woman who is majoring in business, I used to be bothered by the pay gap in genders. While it’s certainly become smaller, women are still consistently missing from top executive positions. But I’m glad you’ve eased my mind by suggesting that women should choose to make less than men. I sure wish you would have brought that up before I spent thousands of dollars on my education. Imagine how much I would have saved! I could have lowered my ambitions and aimed for a job with a lower salary and “pleasant working conditions,” because as you said, that’s what we women prefer. Waitresses, female manual laborers, and the rest don’t really realize how easy they have it.

I also appreciate the dating tip. I didn’t realize I was supposed to go after men that make more money than me, and that if I didn’t find one, it would be better to stay single. Good thing I already locked down a potential mate before he realized that I might have dreams and ambitions and could hypothetically make more than him someday. Ugh. I probably would have been a cat lady otherwise.

I’m glad that you’re holding us women accountable. Yes, we choose to be in majors that tend to pay less, like those that aren’t STEM or business, not because we’re generally discouraged from doing so and have a tough time getting into the good ol’ boys club, but because we just generally don’t really like to work anywhere that isn’t air-conditioned and doesn’t allow for frequent sparkling water breaks. That’s clearly the reason why women don’t appear to make as much as men. Who knew part of it was our fault? I guess I should stop blaming social structures and years of patriarchy. Oops.

Overall, I’m excited with the direction you’d like to take this country. I think it would be much better if the pay gap were widened in America, because it would be awful if gender equality existed in America. Plus, half of the women in America would never marry, because, as you suggested earlier, men aren’t really into women that make more than them. Ambition just isn’t ladylike.

Keep up the good work, promoting the traditional “family.” I’d elect you president tomorrow if I could, but alas, that would probably mean you’d make more than your husband… and we wouldn’t want that.

Xoxo, Taylor








11 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Phyllis Schlafly

  1. A TINY bit of sarcasm….I love it! Completing disagreeing with the writer and basically calling her an idiot but doing it so graciously, she will probably become your biggest fan.


  2. I liked the satirical tone to it, and I agree with your claims. There is no reason why equally-qualified women should be paid less than men in the same types of jobs.

    In some cases, however, it’s not so much about the money as it is the perception.


  3. [stands and applauds loudly] It is amazing that in this day and age we can still come up against such steadfast denial to gender equality. Thanks for sharing you rather pithy retort, I enjoyed it immensely.


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