I Have The Television Habits of an Angry 75-Year-Old Woman

Most normal Americans yell at the television when they watch men running across a field with a ball. I yell at the television when I watch couples walking through a house with a wish list a mile long.

When I was younger, my grandma lived with us, which meant I grew up on a steady diet of Price Is Right and HGTV. While I’ve lost some of my affinity for game shows, the preference for HGTV hasn’t waned. I have no idea why, but I like watching stories of renovations, remodels, and house shopping.

Well, most house shopping. The show “House Hunters” is a particular source of aggravation for me. Like a fan who refuses to quit watching the game even though his team is bound to lose, I somewhat masochistically insist on sitting down to watch House Hunters. The premise of the show is fine. Basically, it tracks someone, usually a couple, as they go about looking at various houses and choosing which one to buy. But the people on the show are far from fine.

Awful man on House Hunters complains about too much kitchen space

You, sir, are the worst kind of person.

I haven’t shopped for a house so I may not have complete license to speak here, but there are some things that to me would be dictated by logic. If you are on a tight budget, asking for a four bedroom house with a swimming pool and a five car garage probably isn’t feasible. If you don’t like the paint color of a wall, there’s an easy solution: PAINT OVER IT. If you aren’t a fan of the flooring, you know what you do? You do not refuse to buy the house and complain to your realtor that they “aren’t delivering.” You buy the house and tear out the flooring and replace it. These things really aren’t hard.

But for some people, apparently they are not so obvious. And this is where my yelling comes in. Like a football fan playing sideline coach, I yell from my place on the couch, “You really think you’re going to find a loft in New York on that budget? Give me a break!” I can only imagine how ridiculous I sound. I literally get upset at people’s unwavering attempts at buying houses that are out of their price ranges, their searches for houses with bizarre extras (a shower that faces east? really?), and their annoying insistence on complaining about every single thing about the house that might be wrong.

My family knows this, and they often make fun of me for my funny habit of vocalizing said frustrations. After my boyfriend left to go abroad for the semester, my mom had a chuckle when between tears I looked up at the television where House Hunters was playing and sniffled, “I’m too upset to even yell at these people today.” That’s when she knew things were serious.

I don’t know why these people and their house searches upset me, yet simultaneously keep me entertained. Maybe it’s because half the time they are whining about things that are completely fixable/irrelevant. Maybe it’s because I don’t like to think that there are people out there who are more of divas than myself. But I know one thing is for sure: When I go house shopping, I will only be half as annoying. And I will REPLACE THE DARN CARPET MYSELF.

Inspired by the WordPress prompt “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

Here are some other takes on the prompt I enjoyed:
We all have our vices | The Nameless One
Please Throw Away the Candy Wrappers | marjanitalarosa
Just Order, Food Neophobia Or Not | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
Just Take My Ears. You Can Have Them. | aMUSEing THINGS
Vices of many… | thoughtsofrkh

Photos courtesy of Awful People on House Hunters
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8 thoughts on “I Have The Television Habits of an Angry 75-Year-Old Woman

  1. Hi Taylor – just enjoying my moning coffee and “favorites” browsing. We watch the show, too, and occasionally even my husband yells at the couple ( which is surprising ‘cuz I’m usually the impatient mouthpiece). I just hope they don’t eventually “stage” the bickering and whining and unrealistic expectations to add pseudo-drama. Right now the couples seem pretty genuine; I hope they stay that way. I like yelling at real idiots, not fake ones. 😊😝. Have a great day!

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  2. Hey, i forgot to ask – are you going to do the A to Z challenge in April? (You might be too busy with school). I signed up for it. Feeling slightly daunted, but it will give me a chance to write in a different style which could be fun. They would like to get more bloggers with < 100 followers. You can click on the A to Z banner at my site to find out about it. If you're going to sign up, let me know before you do. I can give you some time-savong pointers (learned the hard way!!)

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